Forgiving those who have hurt us does not come naturally to us. In fact, forgiveness runs counter to our human nature and our desire for revenge. Furthermore, one of the most difficult things for us to do is to forgive those who have hurt or betrayed us. Yet, Jesus calls on us to forgive others and included this command in the prayer that He taught His disciples, “…And forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us,” (Matthew 6:12, NLT). Moreover, Jesus said that if we did not forgive others, God will not forgive us (Matthew 6:14-15).
Jesus is our example
Jesus demonstrated forgiveness by example when He asked God to forgive those who crucified Him: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,” (Luke 23:34, NLT). Jesus wanted to show us how to call upon God when we are dealing with forgiveness. Consequently, if we do not follow Christ’s teaching and forgive, we will eventually become trapped in the moment when the offense happened. Because of this, we will find it difficult to move forward with our lives.
Physical and emotional effects of unforgiveness
Mental health professionals have said that when you hold unforgiveness in your heart toward someone, you are allowing that person to have control over you. Every time you think of the person who hurt you, the pain and anger swell up again. Unforgiveness weighs down the body and the mind, which can eventually lead to sleep disturbances and mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and a short temper. What is more, a state of unforgiveness can lead to changes in blood pressure, heart rate, and immune response making us more vulnerable to increased stress levels, anxiety, diabetes, heart disease and even cancer.
In short, you can hold on to the hurt and allow this to affect you physically, mentally or emotionally, or you can determine that you will obey God and turn your hurt over to Him.
Forgiving those who have hurt us with God’s help
Forgiveness is not easy, and it is difficult to do on your own. Some people believe you can simply “forgive and forget,” but can you really forget what happened? How can you forget when the pain you feel is sometimes too hard to bear? Imagine the pain of the families who lost loved ones due to criminal violence. Moreover, what about a husband or wife who has been betrayed by his or her spouse? The truth is, we cannot truly forgive others without God’s help.
Forgiving those who have hurt us takes more than just your will. It takes the supernatural power of God to heal your emotions and help you to release all the negative factors associated with that person. So, if there is anyone you have not forgiven, ask God to help you forgive.
Avoid taking matters into your own hands
It is natural for us to want to see harm, or bring harm, to the one who has harmed us. Many times, we consider avenging ourselves because we feel that God is taking too long to resolve the situation. However, the Bible says we are not to deal with the problem ourselves: “Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the Lord,” (Romans 12:19, NLT).
Ultimately, we have to remember that we are not perfect. One day we will seek forgiveness from God and from the people we hurt, whether intentionally or unintentionally. This is why it is important to choose to follow God’s way rather than our own way.
Submit yourself and past hurts to God
We will remain stuck right where we are, if we do not learn how to let our past hurts go. And as a result of this, we will never fully accomplish what God has planned for us in this life. However, the moment we submit our lives and past hurts to God, He will give us the grace to release the past and let go of the pain. As a result, we will find ourselves transformed by the power of forgiveness.
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